Life in a Cat House

1. Everything--and I do mean EVERYTHING--is covered in soft fluffy fur--including your toothbrush.

And your teeth.

2. At four thirty a.m., you become a playing field for cat rugby. They hurtle down onto you from a great height (the top of the bureau).

3. A love triangle is you, a sausage biscuit, and a cat.

4. You can't so much as get a cold drink in the kitchen without being assaulted by a plump creature crying piteously that she hasn't been fed since 1893.

5. The bras you've tossed into the laundry basket get reclassified as cat toys and dragged into the middle of the living room.

6. You keep a spray bottle in every room for disciplinary purposes.

7. If you make the mistake of leaving the bathroom door open, you come back to chaos and a cat curled on the rug with an innocent smile on its sweet little face.

8. Your favorite comfy chair is usually pre-empted.

9. Flowers? Fergeddaboudit.

10. That lump in the bed that wakes you up when you roll over onto it is a cat toy.

11. You wake up to find something soft and warm and loving snuggled against you.

12. When you try to get up, it bites.